We’ve recently released another stunning, devastating, and heart-opening zine. I Am Not a Number is a collection of seven articles, written by Nour Abo Aisha and published in leading media outlets throughout the year. The titles of these writings correspond to the twists and turns of Apartheid Israel’s genocidal tyranny in Gaza:
“I Survived a Massacre at a School in Gaza. My Students Did Not.”
“In Gaza, We Know Why Israel Wants to Herd Us All Into One Camp: Our Lives Are Bargaining Chips.”
“How Many More Must Die Before Gaza’s Famine Is Called a Crime?”
“I Was Meant for Firewood, But the Tree Embraced Me”
“Surviving War in North Gaza”
“On Becoming a Gazan Cinderella”
“Garden of Survival”
For many of us, images and videos flash in the mind upon reading these titles. Can you recall seeing the aftermath of an airstrike on a school? Who were the victims? Can you name any of them? Or have they already become numbers, digits, bodies dismembered from the global community?
Ward Sheikh Khalil. Do we remember her story? Can we recall what happened to her the night an airstrike hit the school in which she and her family were sheltering?
The video was shared around the world, played over and over again, broadcast live-stream—even to people in Gaza, like Nour. Viewing the video immediately forced her to relive the airstrike at al-Nasr School that nearly claimed her own life when she was volunteering as a teacher. She survived. Many of her students did not. We probably saw the footage of that day, too, only to forget it among the images of other schools, other days, other victims. Do the names, the numbers, the places blur together? What about Nour? Can her words, gathered in this zine, hold our attention long enough for us to remember al-Nasr school, the students who died, and their teacher who has not forgotten them?
“Now I ask myself—did I survive so I could tell you what happened in those moments?”—”I Survived a Massacre at a School in Gaza….”
In her articles, Nour documents her struggle to survive, which is multiplied in the lived experiences of everyone else in Gaza: bombardment, displacement, starvation, destruction, loss, death, grief.
“We continue to live and work under the enormous pressures of war, waiting for it to end. But we sometimes wonder, will it ever end?”—Surviving War in North Gaza
The word “war” may clash with what we know of Israel’s genocidal intent and action, but for those living in Gaza, the occupier’s goal of extermination must be psychologically rejected. Wars end, giving way to life. When a genocide comes to an end, life may have already been exterminated. People in Gaza continue to live, defying the final solution ghost-written for them by Apartheid Israel and resisting its desire to write new codes of law for the world with their blood.
“In this living nightmare, we have two choices: Either we cry over what we have lost during the war, or we adapt to our new circumstances. Even as our hearts bleed over the reality of our situation, we want to keep sane. We don’t want to become crazy as a result of what is happening around us.”—”On Becoming a Gazan Cinderella”
I Am Not a Number includes illustrations by the talented Veronica Petrie. Her stunning cover portrait of Nour reflects a wish of the author, expressed in her letter to the reader.
“Please, don’t forget me. I am searching for a sliver of hope to live by. I write, I sing, I hum—while missiles roar above my head. I am not a number. I dream of living, like you do. I dream of having a family on a land of peace.” —final paragraph, Letter to the Reader.
Congratulations, Nour! May your writing always be a testament to the beauty and significance of your life. May it carry your hope and dreams through any darkness. May your name bring light to the world, dear Nour.
Editor, Coastal Lines Press